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 The COVID-19 quick cure—dunny paper!

05.03.20. Soldiers returning from the Great War 1914-1918 brought with them the Spanish flu which spread wildly in 1919 killing about 15,000 people. Isolation, face masks (hospital staff in pic) and strict hygiene helped while all shipping was quarantined—quite similar to what we see today. However, panic seems to have set the pace in certain quarters and that is being hyped by so-called experts chanting doom with all the buzzwords, could be, potentially, possibly etc., all of it though, creating panic. Panic seems to be the drug of preference these days—Greta Thunberg discovered that. Anyway, Jack the Insider at The Australian overcame all that with a comical view.
I spent six hours at Westmead Hospital yesterday. Not by choice mind you. I was a bit reluctant to make an appearance to be honest, given that three cases of COVID-19 had been diagnosed there. But you know what? It was business as usual there. I didn’t see one masked face inside the gigantic public hospital in Sydney’s west. The staff were as professional and efficient as ever. People went calmly about their business. There was no pervading sense of doom, no skull and crossbones signage about the place.
Source: Jack the Insider, News Corp 

Coronavirus: Pressing the panic button on COVID-19

Well, no more than the usual warnings about snaffling cytotoxic material and taking it home to show your mates.
Without wanting to be overly dramatic Westmead Hospital is on the COVID-19 front line and refreshingly, it was a sea of calm in an ocean of mad panic.
I know in this post-fact era a lot of weight is given to people’s opinions. It is sometimes said that an opinion is like the excretory opening at the end of the alimentary canal because everyone has one, but in these days of social media where people delight in telling others what they reckon on all manner of topics and sundry affairs, opinions are more like gut bacilli in that everyone has loads and most of them are not terribly interesting.
That’s a tough situation at the best of times but when it comes to unstoppable pathogenic viruses a little knowledge is literally a dangerous thing.
The first sign that experts are being ignored is toilet paper hoarding. The one and only question here is why? What do people expect from COVID-19 – explosive diarrhoea? Spontaneous combustion? Or do they see themselves as survivors of an imagined post-pandemic future where toilet paper becomes a universally accepted currency?
Fight to the death for bog roll
I could understand it if there was a sudden outbreak of amoebic dysentery but for a respiratory disease it makes no sense. Tissues, sure. Paper towel, all right but only for frontal use, OK?
Have we reached the stage where people who have seen too many movies of the end times, have started to think, “I’ve got a shopping trolley full of 48-packs of four-ply. With that kind of post-apocalyptic coin, I could end up being Queen of the Thunderdome where people fight to the death and the victor is swathed in bog roll.”
If people are going to firmly press the panic button, they should be aware that where there’s hoarding there will always be profiteering. An illicit distribution of scarce resources at exorbitant prices. A brown market, in this case.
The Great Toilet Paper Reckoning is upon us and it is only a matter of time before we see dodgy looking characters stepping out from shop fronts.
“Psst. I got half a roll of Quilton Soft and Sanitary. Yours for a monkey. Feel the quality.”
And don’t get me started on hand sanitisers. You might have seen them before they disappeared from supermarket shelves in a rush of panic buying. These products proudly boast that they kill 99 per cent of germs. What, like 99 per cent of bacteria? All but one per cent of microbes? The overwhelming majority of bacterium? Maybe. But they don’t kill COVID-19. You can check the label if you don’t believe me.
Dim Doomsday Peppers
Alas, as with outlaw motorcycle gangs, it’s the one per cent that does all the damage.
And while I’m at it, who are these people who need to be reminded to wash their hands? What are we in primary school? The act of washing one’s hands with soap and water creates an oil which, if done effectively (for two minutes at a time, the experts say), microscopic nasties are removed from the skin and bundled down the drain.
Hoarding is about the silliest thing a human being can do. We see it under normal circumstances at least twice every year. Go supermarket shopping on Christmas Eve or Maundy Thursday – the two days that fall before the only two days on the calendar year where supermarkets will be closed for a full 24 hours and it’s like the Doomsday Preppers have taken over.
On the weekend I saw a news reporter vox popping hoarders who were leaving the shops with their trolleys fit to burst. One bloke proudly announced that he hated Spam but had bought a gross of it. Apparently that’s how he sees his future, grimacing over a plate of Spam, Spam, Spam, powdered egg, Spam, Spam, Spam and Spam.
It says a great deal about hoarders that their imagined futures are worse than the present.
I am fairly sure these people haven’t quite thought things through.
I don’t want to make light of an unfolding global human tragedy but the thought of being locked away in my house with my family for weeks if not months is a nightmare far worse than any pandemic. It wouldn’t matter if the pantry was bursting with Spam. A couple of weeks in lock down and I’d go looking for a bad dose of the Black Death just to take the edge off the tension.
This is why we have licensed premises, people. To get away from our families.
Smarten up, Australia.

{ 15 comments… add one }
  • DT 05/03/2020, 7:01 am

    I agree, COVID-19 is of course a particularly bad influenza coronavirus and we must take care of ourselves as best we can, but from conversations I have had with medical professionals privately they believe that the panic is unjustified and that the media is to blame.

    It’s almost like another climate change hoax emergency, when will the Climate Council introduce a group of retired doctors who tried to warn the PM but were unable to get his attention? What might Greta say?

    There was no toilet paper or boxes of tissues at the supermarket I shopped in yesterday and people were taking photographs of the empty shelves. The bloke in the bottle shop told me staff members could not believe the customers who were worried about the lack of stock on hand.

    • Disgruntled 05/03/2020, 8:13 am

      Gee DT, If this COVID thing wasn’t just a bit serious it would be absolutely hilarious as the comparative numbers just don’t stack up to be as great as any of the other epidemics that were about previously.
      Economics appears to be what is taking by far the greatest hit and one must wonder who will benefit most from all this!!!!!

  • Geoff L 05/03/2020, 7:49 am

    We’ve always been told it’s a good idea to to have at least 2 weeks supply of food stored.
    Now that people are suddenly waking up and doing exactly this the media has declared it to be panic buying.
    Maybe it’s the fact that people have no longer have any confidence in government or authorities to handle something situations like this.
    I’m not sure what the toilet paper hoarding is about however. A gum leaf or two makes a excellent substitute.

    • Muphin 05/03/2020, 7:58 am

      My mum taught me two essentials in life:-
      1. Never ever run out of food in the pantry and toilet paper.
      2. Always, Always use other peoples money before your own.

    • Honeybadger 05/03/2020, 8:28 am

      The Age also a good substitute!

      • OPA 05/03/2020, 10:34 am

        Too slippery!

    • Albert 05/03/2020, 9:29 am

      The old Sydney Yellow Pages used to fill the bill.

  • Pensioner Pete 05/03/2020, 8:27 am

    In the back blocks of Queensland, the wise stock up rations for a month or more, prior the anticipated wet each year, because, should the wet get really wound up, as it is now in some areas, the highways can be cut for weeks, thus no stock coming for the grocery shop shelves.

    The gravel roads are the first to go, even inaccessible via 4WD vehicles.

    Thus, we have our own naturally occurring ‘quarantine’, so to speak.

  • Greg 05/03/2020, 9:19 am

    Ahhhh….multiculturalism at play once again. Part of the Chinese culture includes the need to panic at any rumour you hear. So someone in the Chinese community causes a wipe-out of toilet paper in one place, this becomes immediate news, then it’s on for young and old. I’m still looking for some evidence of “cultural enrichment” but all I see are problems.

  • Deano 05/03/2020, 10:36 am

    It’s funny how the fortune tellers with “a 98% record of accurate predictions” never foresee things like the Corona virus. Or else they claim to have seen it in a dream after it happens but simply forgot to tell anyone.

    • Pensioner Pete 05/03/2020, 12:08 pm

      Deano: Seems the time has come for Madame Zara to retire. 🙂

      • Disgruntled 05/03/2020, 1:08 pm

        Hey P P, do you mean this Madame Zara?


        Can’t have her retiring just yet as this F B site could be an additional change from poring over the inadequacies of our current mob of silly pollies.

      • Pensioner Pete 05/03/2020, 3:07 pm

        Disgruntled: Coronavirus may not kill me, however the Sheila’s in your link are certain to accomplish my demise, rather promptly I expect! 😉

  • Knight Templar 05/03/2020, 12:09 pm

    This self imposed isolation for confirmed COVID – 19 is not working .. Iranian man confirmed with Corona virus went on a shopping spree after being told to stay at home for 14 days. Authorities in Launceston Tasmania are now trying to trace 143 passengers from his flight, plus monitor the staff at Woolworths and elsewhere.
    These people do not care about spreading their diseases .. Clearly this self imposed staying at home is not working.
    Confirmed cases should be incarcerated and monitored..
    As Trump says.. “They don’t like it but people around them do ”
    Its time our PC Govt with its nanny state attitude put the interests of Australians first.

  • Eliza 05/03/2020, 12:16 pm

    My firm belief about this virus is that it was deliberately set loose by the chinese govt because it has lost alot of face with the Trump trade deal and so to get the world economy tanking lets get them with a fatal virus. Cynical maybe and of course the world media has helped with its panic style reporting.

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