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 Chemical composition of governments—”Governmentium”! ☺

25.10.20.  A new Element has been added to the Periodic Table. Melbourne University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to  science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held  together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks ;but twice as many morons.
{ 8 comments… add one }
  • Penguinite 25/10/2020, 6:54 am

    Governmentium is leathal. It has a shelf-life of 3-4 years and exudes crap continuously!

    • Penguinite 25/10/2020, 7:36 am

      Andrews AKA sophomoric (from Word of the Day)
      1 : conceited and overconfident of knowledge but poorly informed and immature
      2 : lacking in maturity, taste, or judgment

      • Theydon Wood 25/10/2020, 7:58 am

        Sophomoronic maybe?
        As idiotic as my sister, and that’s saying something!

  • ibbir 25/10/2020, 9:10 am

    Sums things government up beautifully and amusingly which governmentium most definitely is not.

  • wal1957 25/10/2020, 10:20 am

    How very true this is!

  • nev 25/10/2020, 11:07 am

    The completion of the Periodic Table now accurately describes the government of democracy…..
    The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter….. Winston Churchill.

    Then there is Singapore led by Lee Kuan Yew’s People’s Action Party.
    The tiny nation reflected the man: efficient, unsentimental, incorrupt, inventive, forward-looking and pragmatic. “We are ideology-free,” Lee said,
    turning a colonial backwater into Southeast Asia’s only advanced economy and one of the world’s great manufacturing and financial hubs.
    Is it just coincidental that Singapore is the cleanest, most highly educated crime free nation in the world.

    • Botswana O'Hooligan 25/10/2020, 11:45 am

      Yairs, a well known crim there long ago was found dead with multiple stab wounds in his back. The “Straits Times” reported that the police said that it was the worst case of suicide they had ever seen.

  • Khoo Soo Hay 26/10/2020, 2:29 pm

    Get rid of politicians and government. Pay no taxes, so politicians and ministers get no pay. They will then not serve as politicians and paid employees. Go back to being peasants and farmers, depend on nature, no electricity, no need for machines and electrical appliances. If our forebears a thousand years ago can survive tilling the land, why not now? The sun will provide everything with the help of mother earth. We don’t need planes, we don’t have to fly, nor train, nor rockets. This way no one is rich, to be robbed and invaded, leading to wars and deaths.

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