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 MM’s forum for Delcons and Deplorables # 39

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{ 24 comments… add one }
  • Sir Peter 08/10/2019, 2:02 pm

    Q. – What is the collective noun for a group of bankers?

    A. – a ‘wunch’

    • Sir Peter 08/10/2019, 4:22 pm

      As in “a wunch of bankers”

    • Neville 09/10/2019, 12:23 am

      Oldie, but a goodie.

  • Aktosplatz 08/10/2019, 9:53 pm

    Regarding this ‘Extinction Rebellion Nonsense’

    Some straight speaking (naturally!) from Alan Jones

    “There is no ‘Climate Emergency’ because of CO2”


    • DT 09/10/2019, 9:47 am

      And there is no man-made global warming caused by Carbon Dioxide emissions.

  • OPA 09/10/2019, 2:40 pm

    But to keep the ‘con’ going labor politicians talk of ‘carbon’ pollution, knowing that most people are stupid enough to equate it with sooth and grime that should be cleaned up. On top of that the media will always show you some chimneys belching smoke in the background of their latest piece of climate news. Of course they’ll not tell you the ‘smoke’ is just innocent, clean steam coming from the cooling towers of a power station.

    • Neville 09/10/2019, 11:06 pm

      Yup! Liars, basically.

  • Aktosplatz 10/10/2019, 8:51 pm

    Some home truths about Soft Magistrates and Judges, with Pauline Hanson and Peta Credlin


    • Pensioner Pete 11/10/2019, 7:27 am

      As usual, Pauline Hanson is right on the money.

  • Aktosplatz 10/10/2019, 10:48 pm

    A man went to a urologist because he could not get an erection.

    The doctor examined him and told him the muscles around the base of the organ were damaged from a previous viral infection and there was nothing he could do.

    He did however know of a new but unproven treatment that might work if he was willing to take the risk.

    The treatment consisted of planting muscle tissue from an elephant’s trunk into his ‘old fella’.

    The man did not want to go through life without sex, so with the assurance that there would be no cruelty to the elephant, he decided to go for it.

    After recovery he was told he could try it out.

    He planned a romantic evening with his girlfriend and took her to a very nice restaurant.

    In the middle of dinner, he felt a strong stirring in his loins that became overwhelming.

    To release the pressure he unzipped his fly and his manhood sprang out, slid across the table, grabbed a bread roll and returned to his trousers.

    His girlfriend was stunned, but then with a sly grin said “can you do that again”?

    With tears in his eyes he replied, “I think I can but I’m not sure if another bread roll will fit up my backside.”

    • Botswana O'Hooligan 11/10/2019, 8:18 am

      Gave me a smile, thanks Akto, I needed it for I just discovered an infestation of white ants in the joint (rental luckily) and some lunatic swerved across in front of me earlier and my little Suzuki now needs a new radiator, bonnet, and mudguard, and Telstra gave us the option by email just now of NBN or no service at all and the rain they forecast hasn’t arrived. Going to be “one of those days.”

      • Aktosplatz 11/10/2019, 9:52 am

        Greetings Bots, and Pensioner Pete, ‘One of those Days’ happens to me as well, too often in fact. My wife and I recently have suffered Identity Theft and an attempt to lift $5k from our Bank Account, I’ve no idea as to how they can do that

        And when that happens all our Bank Accounts are frozen, wife’s mobile has been disabled by Optus ( been waiting 3 weeks so far, to resolve these issues).

        So, yeah, things suck sometimes but we’re all here, and I enjoy these Life Stories coming from you, and Jack Richards, and others, who have achieved much.

        Hope things improve for you,



  • Pensioner Pete 11/10/2019, 7:29 am

    Akto: Thanks, this was a beauty to read first thing in the morning for a good kick off to the day.

    • Aktosplatz 11/10/2019, 9:52 am

      Thanks P/Pete, I have replied to you and Bots in the above post. Go well.

  • Botswana O'Hooligan 11/10/2019, 11:03 am

    The white ant blokes are here tapping away with implements like those three supposedly blind Jamaican crims did with walking sticks in that James Bond Movie. I am waiting for them to burn a bunch of feathers, cast runes, and mutter incantations as they slaughter a goat. The white ants don’t care, couldn’t give a rats rectum one might opine, and only a good dose of poison will stop them. Meantime, an old bloke is being entertained.

    • Pensioner Pete 11/10/2019, 11:49 am

      Bots: When I bought my house, there was a little termite damage to soft timber D molding and nothing else as the walls are masonite, the framework is hardwood (like bloody steel to drill), and the opinion of the pest bopper orfer was the bastards wouldn’t touch the hardwood. He was right.

      However, when I was doing reno’s, before I had the concrete paths around the house poured, I installed dripper line (inlet and outlet accessible) under the paths. After the concrete was done and dusted, I got the pest bloke to pump the good gear through the dripper line under pressure until all 300 litres were expended. This setup plus a few termite baits in strategic locations around the yard seems to be keeping the white chewers at bay for now. I reckon the chooks wandering around the yard help out too.

      • Botswana O'Hooligan 11/10/2019, 3:31 pm

        You have done “good” PP and in conversation with the Flick bloke it is going to cost the owner about $900 to get rid of this lot and then there is the restoration work. We used dieldrin (cattle dip) under the slabs of the couple of houses I built in Cairns although it is banned now and we never had a problem. They used “Penda” in FNQ for stumps long ago for it is as hard as steel but they still had holes bored in it, poison poured in and a wooden peg inserted, and then the stumps had tin caps on the tops. The young Flick bloke said that they now put a bait in and the worker ants carry it back to the Queen and she dies, but what happens if there are a bunch of nests around all containing Queens, fair dinkum ones and not those limp wristed types?

  • seadogger 12/10/2019, 6:49 am

    Well MalMo you can follow the Donald if you have the agotts (which I dont think you do)
    Trump has just concluded the transfer of ownership of the Long Beach California Container Terminal from the Chicoms to Macquarie Bank (Aus). This terminal handles about 80,000 containers annually and is a very strategic assett
    Port of Darwwin is also a very valuable assett to OZ and is only under lease to the Chicoms so turfing them out should a lot easier than than forcing them to sell as the Trumpster did.

  • Xword 12/10/2019, 11:37 am

    Just when it seems a handful of brunettes making news worldwide seem to be making blonde jokes somewhat redundant, our very own Zali Steggal leaps in with a stated plan to turn her Warringah electorate into a “mini California.”
    Has anyone informed this cretin that California is edging towards a 250 billion dollar debt, it’s workers are the highest taxed and its motorists pay almost twice the national average for petrol?
    But I hope she succeeds, personally I’d love to see Mosman residents dodging blue plastic hovels and human faeces on Military Road.

  • Pepperpete 12/10/2019, 12:04 pm
  • Aktosplatz 16/10/2019, 9:02 am

    This is a cut and paste but a good read! Dedicated to all fathers of teenage daughters:

    “Cotton Edwards Anderson
    After our daughter of fifteen years of age was moved to tears by the speech of Greta Thunberg at the UN the other day, she became angry with our generation “who had been doing nothing for thirty years”.
    So, we decided to help her prevent what the girl on TV announced of “massive eradication and the disappearance of entire ecosystems”.

    We are now committed to give our daughter a future again, by doing our part to help cool the planet four degrees.

    From now on she will go to school on a bicycle, because driving her by car costs fuel, and fuel puts emissions into the atmosphere. Of course it will be winter soon and then she will want to go by bus, but only as long as it is a diesel bus.

    Somehow, that does not seem to be conducive to ‘helping the Climate’.

    Of course, she is now asking for an electric bicycle, but we have shown her the devastation caused to the areas of the planet as a result of mining for the extraction of Lithium and other minerals used to make batteries for electric bicycles, so she will be pedaling, or walking. Which will not harm her, or the planet. We used to cycle and walk to school too.

    Since the girl on TV demanded “we need to get rid of our dependency on fossil fuels” and our daughter agreed with her, we have disconnected the heat vent in her room. The temperature is now dropping to twelve degrees in the evening, and will drop below freezing in the winter, we have promised to buy her an extra sweater, hat, tights, gloves and a blanket.

    For the same reason we have decided that from now on she only takes a cold shower. She will wash her clothes by hand, with a wooden washboard, because the washing machine is simply a power consumer and since the dryer uses natural gas, she will hang her clothes on the clothes line to dry.

    Speaking of clothes, the ones that she currently has are all synthetic, so made from petroleum. Therefore on Monday, we will bring all her designer clothing to the secondhand shop.

    We have found an eco store where the only clothing they sell is made from undyed and unbleached linen, wool and jute.

    It shouldn’t matter that it looks good on her, or that she is going to be laughed at, dressing in colorless, bland clothes and without a wireless bra, but that is the price she has to pay for the benefit of The Climate.

    Cotton is out of the question, as it comes from distant lands and pesticides are used for it. Very bad for the environment.

    We just saw on her Instagram that she’s pretty angry with us. This was not our intention.

    From now on, at 7 p.m. we will turn off the WiFi and we will only switch it on again the next day after dinner for two hours. In this way we will save on electricity, so she is not bothered by electro-stress and will be totally isolated from the outside world. This way, she can concentrate solely on her homework. At eleven o’clock in the evening we will pull the breaker to shut the power off to her room, so she knows that dark is really dark. That will save a lot of CO2.

    She will no longer be participating in winter sports to ski lodges and resorts, nor will she be going on anymore vacations with us, because our vacation destinations are practically inaccessible by bicycle.

    Since our daughter fully agrees with the girl on TV that the CO2 emissions and footprints of her great-grandparents are to blame for ‘killing our planet’, what all this simply means, is that she also has to live like her great-grandparents and they never had a holiday, a car or even a bicycle.

    We haven’t talked about the carbon footprint of food yet.

    Zero CO2 footprint means no meat, no fish and no poultry, but also no meat substitutes that are based on soy (after all, that grows in farmers fields, that use machinery to harvest the beans, trucks to transport to the processing plants, where more energy is used, then trucked to the packaging/canning plants, and trucked once again to the stores) and also no imported food, because that has a negative ecological effect. And absolutely no chocolate from Africa, no coffee from South America and no tea from Asia.

    Only homegrown potatoes, vegetables and fruit that have been grown in local cold soil, because greenhouses run on boilers, piped in CO2 and artificial light. Apparently, these things are also bad for The Climate. We will teach her how to grow her own food.

    Bread is still possible, but butter, milk, cheese and yogurt, cottage cheese and cream come from cows and they emit CO2. No more margarine and no oils will be used for the frying pan, because that fat is palm oil from plantations in Borneo where rain forests first grew.

    No ice cream in the summer. No soft drinks and no energy drinks, as the bubbles are CO2. She wanted to lose some pounds, well, this will help her achieve that goal too.

    We will also ban all plastic, because it comes from chemical factories. Everything made of steel and aluminum must also be removed. Have you ever seen the amount of energy a blast furnace consumes or an aluminum smelter? Uber bad for the climate!

    We will replace her 9600 coil, memory foam pillow top mattress, with a jute bag filled with straw,with a horse hair pillow.

    And finally, she will no longer be using makeup, soap, shampoo, cream, lotion, conditioner, toothpaste and medication. Her sanitary napkins will be replaced with pads made of linen, that she can wash by hand, with her wooden washboard, just like her female ancestors did before climate change made her angry at us for destroying her future.
    In this way we will help her to do her part to prevent mass extinction, water levels rising and the disappearance of entire ecosystems.

    If she truly believes she wants to walk the talk of the girl on TV, she will gladly accept and happily embrace her new way of life.”

  • Aktosplatz 17/10/2019, 9:50 pm

    As expected -the Public now taking the law into their own hands as payback against the Cimate Protesters in London


    • Pensioner Pete 18/10/2019, 6:21 am

      And so it begins. The police and the government will not act, so the people will.

  • Albert 18/10/2019, 8:26 am

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