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Has Malcolm really gone?

“Can I keep the throne—please?”

Has Malcolm really gone to heaven?

The always humorous James Jeffrey writing in The Australian today got it right about Malcolm Turnbull’s appearance on Q&A last night when he dubs the pretentious man a messiah. Extolling his own virtues even when not asked, most viewers of what is to be hoped a final curtain call will long remember Turnbull as a political disaster. A path of revenge from a vindictive person. Mr Jeffrey’s last sentence offers salvation for us, if that could be: The Mal-ssiah is ready to ascend back into heaven.

It was at his crucifixion that Jesus made his famously charitable request: “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.” But, as he emerged from 76 days in the tomb into the Q&A studio last night, Malcolm Turnbull dispensed with the forgiveness bit. The coup that ended his political mission on Earth, he insisted, was inexplicable. Crazy, and pointless, too. If Turnbull was going to be putting any requests to the Almighty last night, letting his crucifiers off the hook wasn’t going to be one.Source: News Corp

The Sketch: Malcolm Turnbull is not the messiah, he’s a very haunted boy

The Q&A audience was torn between appreciation for his service to the nation, and disappointment at how they thought the promise of Malcolm had fallen short of the reality.

It’s been a bumpy marriage, Turnbull and Q&A. People think mistily of those days of leather, a honeymoon during which moon-eyed audience members went so far as to beg him to form a party with Kevin Rudd.

But the 2016 version of Turnbull was a more prickly affair, accusing host Tony Jones of being “a very good spokesman for the ALP” — and not in a good way. Turnbull and Jones were happy together again last night. The former PM had fresher targets.

Many were named in his bucketing — Mathias Cormann, Greg Hunt, Tony Abbott among them — but a special tone was reserved for Peter Dutton, his name exiting Turnbull’s mouth each time like a voodoo doll, which was then filled with pins, set alight and tossed down a long drop.

Q&A’s a show Paul Keating once said no minister had any business going on: “You just wash the government through mud every time you turn up.”

Thanks to the events of late August, Turnbull is free of any such concerns, arriving with a mud supply as plentiful as if it had been on special in Costco.

It’s been a tectonic collision you could chart by Q&A appearances alone. When Turnbull was on last December, stand-in host Virginia Trioli — her leather dress a sartorial memorial to Malcolm 1.0 — triggered an exchange that now looks eerie in its prescience.

Trioli: “I don’t think the conservatives in your party are a figment of the imagination of the ABC.”

Turnbull: “Oh, no, but, you know … No. Well …”

Still, it’s done now. His key teachings? His government kicked goals. The coup was inexplicable. The proprietor of this paper was not strictly helpful. Bill Shorten is bad, nearly as bad as Dutton.

And, over the fiery splats from the long drop, he wished Scott Morrison well.

“I’ve retired from politics,” he said, his face aglow. “I will return to the business world.”

The resurrection is done.
The Mal-ssiah is ready to ascend back into heaven.

{ 21 comments… add one }
  • Popular Front 09/11/2018, 6:28 am

    ‘Return to the business world’? Yes Malcolm, you do that and pour yourself a tall glass of STFU while you’re about it.

    • Neville 09/11/2018, 6:02 pm

      Oh, TOO well-said, PF!

  • seadogger 09/11/2018, 7:22 am

    The TURD arrived in this world from another orifice as a Bastard,lives the life of a Bastard and will die a Bastard. His headstone will read “SHIT HAPPENS”.. May you NOT rest in Peace

    • pattoh 09/11/2018, 8:18 am

      It has been said that giving birth is like shitting a watermellon .

      Australia is either well past due or terminally constipated.

  • crankykoala 09/11/2018, 7:40 am

    Please, oh please let this be the last time we have to endure the ravings of this TURD.

  • Lorraine 09/11/2018, 8:02 am

    I do not watch QandA or the ABC , and if my TV set would even turn to channel 2 it would not have been done to watch this bastard

    • Botswana O'Hooligan 09/11/2018, 8:43 am

      My sentiments exactly.

    • Bwana Neusi 09/11/2018, 11:50 am

      Our set is geared to explode if ever the ABC channel is selected

  • TommyGun 09/11/2018, 8:19 am

    Watching Q&A last night was like enduring an hour of someone dragging their nails across a blackboard. But I HAD to do it. I had to hear for myself the 60 minutes of lies and BS that that pr*ck would dredge up.
    Of course, the GayBC wouldn’t let just any questions be asked….they were all carefully screened and vetted beforehand so as not to ambush their pin-up boy.
    Of course, the most obvious question was the one that wasn’t asked, which would be this:
    “How is it possible that it was perfectly all right for you to undermine Brendan Nelson and, later, Tony Abbott, yet, when it was done to you, it was the most heinous, treasonous act in history?”
    The colossal jerk, at one point, even uttered “we were doing OK in the polls”…I wonder what planet that was…it certainly wasn’t this one. Must have been a parallel universe, in which Newspoll doesn’t exist.
    I sincerely hope that is the last we see of the bastard, although I don’t think we could possibly be that lucky.

  • JG 09/11/2018, 9:11 am

    Turnshit knifed people just to get preselected, then Nelson followed by Abbott. I can’t not believe the media is putting he up as a victim good old the ABC, left Sky News commentators, fairfax and the like.
    Please just go and flush yourself you TURD.

  • Aktosplatz 09/11/2018, 9:22 am

    Many of us foresaw all of this would eventuate when that silly goose John Howard persuaded Turnbull to stay in politics in 2009.

    None of this has surprised me at all. A cursory glance at the ‘StopTurnbull’ site has it all set out very clearly and is accurate.

    For what it’s worth ( and from my point of view) I detested Turnbull’s Policies. His Globalistic Pro UN Policies that have been driving small business to the wall.

    Tony Abbott’s policies connected with us and he gained seats for the Liberals in two consecutive elections.

    How come the Liberals are so blind as to not notice?

    Now if Scott Morrison wants to succeed at the next election, he had better get Abbott in the Cabinet and get his policies back including pulling out of Paris.

    After the Bully, Coward, and now Snowflake Turnbull’s Q & A Spray, Morrison has nothing to lose anymore.

    And everything to gain.

  • Jack Richards 09/11/2018, 9:42 am

    It was fascinating to watch Turnbull accuse so many others of the same crimes he committed himself.

    It was Turnbull who undermined and overthrew Peter King to get pre-selection for Wentworth; he was useless as a Minister in the Howard Government; repeated the undermining-process on Brendan Nelson and was useless as an Opposition Leader; was worthless as a Minister in the Abbott government and spent his whole time crawling to the ABC and contradicting and undermining Abbott, and Abbott loyalists, at every opportunity. He was a regular feature on the ABC’s Q&A, dressed a-la Don Chipp circa 1973, grinning smugly and knowingly while he smirkingly denied he had any leadership ambitions while the usual stacked audience praised him to heaven and called for him to overthrow Abbott.

    Abbott’s loss of 30 consecutive Newspolls was largely Turnbull’s doing. He was shamelessly disloyal to both Nelson and Abbott, leaked constantly, and never missed an opportunity to embarrass the government. Who could ever forget the way he staged his first ever ride on public transport and tried to pretend to be a “man of the people”?

    He claimed his knifing of Abbott was precipitated by 30 consecutive Newspoll losses, poor economic policy, lack of communication etc and said he’d fix all these things. He was going to cleanse the Temple and then lead us all to the Promised Land.

    But instead all he delivered was waffle, dithering and indecisiveness topped by losing the Coalition’s majority in the 2016 election and managed to fall well short of all the benchmarks he’d used to toss Abbott overboard.

    I was absolutely astonished when he claimed last night that it was he who had “stopped the boats”! When he listed his government’s achievements he forgot to mention that every success had actually been introduced by Abbott!

    For him to claim that he was now “out of politics” and held no “bitterness” was truly laughable; as laughable as Kevin Rudd’s endless production of self-aggrandising tomes.

    • Bushkid 09/11/2018, 10:08 am

      Yes, that outright, blatant LIE about him being the one who stopped the boats should be the final wake-up call, if one was even needed!

      Not only a narcissistic, vitriolic, tin-eared loser, but now a proven liar as well. Disgusting person.

    • Bwana Neusi 09/11/2018, 11:56 am

      Wasn’t one of his key attributes supposed to be his unalienable ability to articulate and communicate so very well?
      How come he so quickly earned the title “Waffler”?

  • Albert 09/11/2018, 9:51 am

    What a pathetic excuse for a human being that terrible person is. Those of us here,who have watched this cowardly sneak thief in action for a long time, would not be surprised that it was not his fault. His claim that he has quit politics and gone back to business is just another of his devious lies and he will keep on sticking his nose into political affairs until the cows come home.

    • Hunter 09/11/2018, 11:16 am

      Turd will keep sticking his nose into political affairs until the Libs grow a set and officially expell the treacherous bastard(Turd) from the party. Big mistake for rewarding Turd by sending him to Bali. I wonder if Scomo learned anything from that little exercise in futility?

  • Jarrah 09/11/2018, 11:09 am

    And we thought Rudd was stark raving mad, Turnbull is far, far worse, thank goodness Turnbull has gone, such a shallow, vindictive SOB.

    • DT 09/11/2018, 2:43 pm

      Doctor Brendan Nelson explained Mansion’s problem.

      And now we can see them both, Kevin Turnbull and Malcolm Rudd.

  • judy 09/11/2018, 2:04 pm

    Oh dear Malcolm, why don’t you just shut up and go away. You are a has been and a useless one at that. A traitor and a Labor plant. Be gone with you.

  • Thunder 09/11/2018, 5:18 pm

    The Turd was born a Turd and now rates as The Fickwut’s Fickwut !! May ” it ” be flushed down a sewer that leads to the Sea.

  • Geoff Unicomb 09/11/2018, 9:56 pm

    I am afraid that there are very important aspects that everyone is missing:

    The Turd did not have ambitions of being PM.
    The Turd did not roll Peter King.
    The Turd did not roll Nelson.
    The Turd did not roll Tony Abbott.
    The Turd did not lose 14 seats at a stuffed-up election.
    The Turd did not lose the confidence of the voters, and his party.
    Well…..who did?
    The Turd’s boss did….LOOSEY, of course.

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