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J. Albrechtsen’s report card for master Turnbull

J. Albrechtsen’s report card for master Turnbull

Dear Mr and Mrs Turnbull,

I regret to inform you that Malcolm has not done well this year. Although he has often been told to apply himself with greater diligence, he has ignored our pleas and keeps telling us that we are stupid wankers and he plans to become a lawyer and get rich without actually working. His mixture of ego and delusion, however, may achieve his goal, but at what cost to a descent society? Therefore we ask that you don’t send him back to this school next year. We suggest you try to get him a job in bank—in the mailroom perhaps, or anywhere that has a large mirror will do.

Ms Albrechtsen writes:

The band is back together, as Malcolm Turnbull announced on Saturday, welcoming Barnaby Joyce back into the government fold. It’s the right time then to reflect on the year behind us and report on how the band leader has performed. Next week, reporting season will extend to other band members.

Source: News Corp

Turnbull scores a ‘D’ for delusion, desertion and dead cats

As the Prime Minister, Turnbull is right to feel upbeat after Saturday’s by-election win. When you’re sinking and a piece of wood floats by, grab it even if it’s porous.

Though a by-election ­record win is nothing to be sniffed at, if Turnbull’s name had been on the New England ballot paper, the result was likely to have been very different.

His capacity for delusion is just one of the reasons he earns a D this year for his 2017 performance as Prime Minister. Not a fail, mind you, because he’s still hanging on by the skin of his teeth. When Turnbull was asked on Sky News’s Sunday Agendaprogram whether he needed to find a way to connect with the Liberal Party’s conservative base, he dodged the question and pointed to the by-election win.

It’s delusional because the reality of the New England by-­election doesn’t reflect Turnbull’s self-aggrandising interpretation. It was a win for the Nationals leader, a popular politician with more authenticity than half the cabinet combined, who wasn’t up against a genuine opponent, no Tony Windsor, no One Nation candidate. And it was a clear signal from voters that they don’t care much for dual-citizenship traps set by section 44 of the Constitution.

The kind of man who can’t help but crow, the PM claimed Barnaby’s win as his own. Turnbull has spoken in private recently claiming that he’s not losing votes from the Liberal base. This delusion reaches comic proportions given the growing number of voters who have decamped from the Liberal Party to One Nation, and increasing numbers looking closely at Cory Bernardi’s breakaway conservative party. Despite a little poll boost this week, the Turnbull government has trailed Labor all year, for 24 polls now. Its best result was a lag of four points. This week it was a six-point lag behind Labor.

Reviewing the year that’s been, the gap reflects Turnbull’s D and his desertion of the Liberal brand. After much vacillation last year, he dabbled on reforming 18C at the beginning of 2017, but it was a political performance, not a hard sell based on liberal-minded convictions. The result in March — minor process changes — reflected Turnbull’s transactional politics, where he can say he tried, but other left-leaning Liberals defeated him. These LINOs — Liberals in Name Only — as one Twitter pundit labelled them last week, talk just a little about free speech, or religious freedoms, but do even less to defend these core liberal principles.

Again in March, Turnbull appointed as ABC chairman a bloke who doesn’t think the place has a bias problem despite knowing that the ABC is a serial offender against its charter. It was do-nothing decision-making from Turnbull.

Turnbull knew Gillian Triggs was a disaster as Australian Human Rights Commissioner. He knew her to be, let’s just say, tricky in her dealings with him and the Senate estimates committee. He must have known the AHRC is a body crying out for a budget cut, but again he chose the do-nothing path.

The Prime Minister’s D is also for his refusal to enter the cultural arena, let alone dominating it as Bob Menzies and John Howard did as prime ministers. While Turnbull thinks he’s the smartest kid in the class, few were fooled by word games he played in a July speech in London when he claimed to be governing in the Menzian way with a ­“progress­ive” bent. Menzies didn’t use the word in its modern reincarnation to mean soft-left because the word didn’t have that meaning in 1944. These days Turnbull’s only cheer squad are LINOs.

Indeed, when questions of defending Australian culture emerge, Turnbull rarely leads. In late August, when a brouhaha broke out about changing inscriptions on statues that date back to the colonial era, Howard denounced it, and then Turnbull followed — the next day.

Throughout the year, Turnbull said nothing much at all when same-sex marriage activists routinely shouted down people with different views as bigots. In September, with the plebiscite under way, the Prime Minister declared he believed in religious freedom “even more strongly” than in same-sex marriage. Alas, it wasn’t a front-foot defence, it was a backfooted response to Howard’s call for the government to outline protections for religious freedoms before the postal vote was over.

Again there was that sinking feeling that Turnbull’s declaration was about politics, not convictions. If Turnbull can convince parliament this week to beef up guarantees of religious freedoms in the same-sex marriage bill, kudos to him. Alternatively, it will go the same way as 18C — a half-hearted attempt by a Prime Minister not upset that LINOs got their way.

Turnbull’s abandonment of the Liberal base has become a well-­established pattern throughout his second calendar year as Prime Minister. When the plebiscite vote came down as Yes last month, Turnbull basked in the glory and said nothing to more than four million Australians who voted No, many within his own party.

Turnbull’s D is a reflection of his polices that bounce like a dead cat. Darting from one policy to the next, there is no story for voters to follow. Last Tuesday a banking royal commission was the worst idea in the world. On Thursday the Prime Minister announces a banking royal commission to a fracturing Coalition and to defuse Labor’s successful retail campaign against the banks.

Last week, Turnbull said we attack banks at our peril, yet his government slapped them with a bank tax to plug a budget black hole.

This year will also be remembered for his dearth of political judgment throughout the citizenship crisis, immediately attacking the Greens for their “incredible sloppiness” only to find plenty of sloppiness in his own government and then insisting for weeks that an audit wasn’t necessary.

Claiming that an audit was an insult to the rule of law was a desperate man saying desperate things, only to then agree to a quasi-audit after months of equivocation, chewing up political capital he didn’t have.

Turnbull needs to stop watching the 2008 movie How to Lose Friends & Alienate People. Under him, the Liberal parliamentary party has fractured not just between progressives and conservatives, but division is rampant within each of the strands. Then add the fractious relationship between the two Coalition parties, the Liberals and the Nationals. Renegade backbenchers and leaks from cabinet point to his poor political management.

Though there are some runs on the board, Turnbull ends the year with voters still unclear about his achievements. Leigh Sales, during an interview with the Prime Minister on 7.30 earlier this year, asked: “How is it possible that in all of that time you’ve not yet managed to have a signature achievement?” Turnbull became cranky and rattled off a list of his chosen achievements. But the fact that the question had to be asked points to a lost narrative of his government. Ask a punter what Howard did as PM, and the list is easy, from gun controls to a GST to balancing the budget and his cultural leadership.

Worst of all, Turnbull has reached the stage of frenzy, lashing out at others, instead of taking responsibility for his own poor performance. Turnbull can’t seem to help himself, making it hard for others to help him. Were it not for his very Rudd-like glass jaw, the Prime Minister might learn how to improve on his D grade.

{ 20 comments… add one }
  • Jarrah 06/12/2017, 7:02 am

    Turnbull is an abject failure as PM, the worst, the sooner he goes the better. I feel ill when I see or hear him.

  • Lorraine 06/12/2017, 7:06 am

    delusion is a sickness and those that acquire the illness have a lot of trouble with mirrors ,and they tend to see only faults in others, not themselves . It is in my family , and it is clearly in the PM’s . By the way there seems to no known cure,

  • Finn 06/12/2017, 7:13 am

    Funny choice of words …. Turnbull thinks he is the smartest kid in the class …. a mate of mine who was at school with him said the same and was afraid to share his belief.

  • Honeybadger 06/12/2017, 7:39 am

    A follower not a leader. A man with no convictions who waits to see which way the wind is blowing and then goes with it. The exact opposite of Trump.

  • Muphin 06/12/2017, 7:44 am

    Some sound advice Mr Turnbull,

    “You have sat too long here for any good you have been doing lately…. Depart, I say; and let us have done with you. In the name of God, GO!”.

    Oliver Cromwell (1599-1658)

  • Albert 06/12/2017, 8:10 am

    Does anything more need to be said?

  • TommyGun 06/12/2017, 8:24 am

    I just hope history is kind to Turnbull, and records him as an abject failure as a PM.
    That is about the best that could possibly be said about him.

  • Ibbit 06/12/2017, 9:29 am

    I heard Trumble described as to gentlemanly to fight dirty against the opposition. Sure, the GREAT hero likes to fight dirty behind closed doors against everyone who offers him criticism. It is to be hoped the libs get sense and get rid of their HERO before the voters give him a thick lip and end up with Shorten. Not much to choose between that pair of …… supply the descriptor to suit rancour.

    • Albert 06/12/2017, 2:12 pm

      Ibbit, gentlemanly he is not. In fact he is not any sort of man. On that score he doesn’t even get to first base. It must be terrible to go through life making enemies of the wrong people and being too stupid to see how self destructive being a spineless amoeba is.

      That despicable coward will go down in history much differently to what he believes history will portray him. He will be remembered as the most untrustworthy and dishonest PM that this country has ever seen.

      Normal thinking Australians would be embarrassed to be named a worse PM than Billy McMahon.

      • Joe Blogs 06/12/2017, 5:14 pm

        I-I-I-I bedieve you’re ri-i-ight, A-A-Albert.

  • Margaret 06/12/2017, 10:01 am

    I know the Liberals don’t want to change leaders again, like Labor did but they changed leaders to Turnbull for the wrong reasons.

    Turnbull and his 54 supporters betrayed Abbott and the Australian people. Unforgivable. None of then can ever be trusted again. Why the Liberal party supported this behaviour is beyond me.

  • Robert TG 06/12/2017, 10:25 am

    Turnbull isn’t the worst PM we ever had. Gillard and Rudd share that title. But it’s scary that he is a close contender and the possibility of Shorten as PM is the ONLY reason Turnbull is still PM.

  • Joe Blogs 06/12/2017, 10:52 am

    Check out this crap – especially the Selection Panel.


    • Zoltan 06/12/2017, 11:21 am

      ….. From all walks of life…. Politics, law…. No garbologists I’d venture….

    • Albert 06/12/2017, 2:23 pm

      JB, that is amazing. This bad joke should be laughed of the planet for the rush of excrement to the collective brains of the mindless academics of the University of Melbourne. Apart from two names I recognise, who the hell are the people on the selection panel.

      • Joe Blogs 06/12/2017, 5:16 pm

        I’m afraid to look ’em up, Albert. This is my last operating laptop.

      • Joe Blogs 06/12/2017, 6:25 pm

        Albert, suggest you avoid this unless you’re calm and relaxed – http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/army-captain-calls-for-prostitutes-to-visit-soldiers-on-the-front-line-to-relieve-stress/news-story/9e9d5ff3fc8c7e032b1d5c5b6614d9fc

        When I read it a couple of days ago, my reaction was that here’s just another sheila pretending she’s a bloke. Doesn’t understand that the Army did very well before idiots like her were shoved in, and doesn’t know when to keep her trap shut.

        Then her pix appeared in the link and the reason for her “desire” to change the sex regulations became crystal clear. Maybe the blokes could draw lots in the mess at closing time; fit the winners with blindfolds and earmuffs; and hand them over to her until reveille.

    • TommyGun 06/12/2017, 8:54 pm

      Adam Gilchrist is a decent bloke and Laura Tingle a fairly sharp journalist.
      The rest I don’t know, except for that fossil Howard and that disgusting liar “Crooked Juliar”.

  • Dave Vought 06/12/2017, 12:15 pm

    It’s a wonder Turncoat doesn’t want to change our Coat Of Arms into a Wind Ferry whilst he’s leader.
    It would suit his style of leadership.

  • Joe Blogs 06/12/2017, 5:45 pm

    “Legal rights” should never apply to the convictions of one group against those of another – unless destabilisation of society is the intention.


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