web analytics
≡ Menu

 Clamber the sheets me hearties—sex on the bowsprit!

04.12.19. The news of late has been dire. MM tries to break the gloom with a column-lead funny. Not everyone laughs heartily at the same thing, it’s probably like ‘gentlemen prefer blondes’. Well, Jeremy JJ Piggot, skipper of the 80-foot Crystal Blue preferred a blonde and thus ‘pigged out’ sexually on his able blonde deckhand, on the bow—nobody in the wheelhouse. The climax came and the earth may not have moved but the yacht did as it crashed into several things causing $140,000 in damages. Anyway, MM’s old-gezzer Fishing club has invited the named deckhand to apply as everyone’s mate on their pedal-boat whaler, sailing for fun and hijinks this Saturday. Crew members may apply before high tide today.
A Gold Coast woman working as a deckhand aboard a luxury charter boat has pleaded guilty to negligence, after admitting to having drunken sex with her captain as the unmanned yacht ran aground.
Source: ABC

Gold Coast deckhand Cheya Handley pleads guilty to negligence over drunken tryst

The court heard Cheya Handley, 26, admitted to drinking alcohol and engaging in intercourse on the bow of the 80-foot Crystal Blue with skipper Jeremy JJ Piggott, 46, as the pair were returning the charter vessel from Brisbane to the Gold Coast on March 3 last year.
The boat also collided with a moored yacht and hit a navigation beacon on the 83-kilometre journey, causing an estimated $140,000 in damage.
The court was told an inebriated Mr Piggott had attempted to steer the boat via remote control while the pair were intimate, and had deliberately lowered the boat’s mast to ensure a mounted CCTV camera did not record the pair’s activities at the front of the boat.
Earlier this year, the captain pleaded guilty to two counts of recklessly contravening his duty and was fined $4,000 and given a two-year good behaviour bond.
During Tuesday’s hearing at Southport Magistrates Court, Ms Handley pleaded guilty to one count of risking the safety of a person or vessel.
Defence barrister David Funch said in the 18 months since the incident, Ms Handley had been promoted at Crystal Blue and given more responsibilities.
He said the prospect of a recorded conviction was “horrifying” since Ms Handley, who grew up on a houseboat, was hoping to join Border Force and work on patrol boats.
He urged the magistrate to consider the extreme power imbalance between the skipper and the deck hand saying “when the master of a vessel tells you to jump, you ask how high”.
He added that in the maritime industry, the skipper is regarded as “God”.
Mr Funch also said none of the damage sustained to the boat occurred during the 10 minutes Ms Handley was admitting to negligence.
Prosecutor Jeff Hunter QC said while the defendant’s role on the boat was significantly subordinate to the master it should have been “abundantly clear” to her that the captain’s actions were “a disgraceful abrogation of his responsibilities”.
He also said safety obligations applied to crew members as well the skipper, and that such a large boat travelling without a proper lookout posed a “significant risk” to other users of the waterway.
In sentencing, Magistrate Andrew Sinclair said he took into account the power imbalance between the pair and said Ms Handley’s behaviour on the night had been out of character.
Ms Handley was placed on a $1,000 good behaviour bond for six months and no conviction was recorded.

{ 6 comments… add one }
  • luk1955 04/12/2019, 6:56 am

    Sex, the latest and greatest act of 2 heterosexual people that can be had anywhere, anytime, and at any price or cost.

  • Penguinite 04/12/2019, 7:22 am

    This bloke has obviously watched too many re-runs of the Titanic, specifically the “I’m on top of the world” scene.

  • DT 04/12/2019, 7:27 am

    The story reminded me of a Larry Pickering cartoon showing a winged keel penis.

    “A Gold Coast woman working as a deckhand aboard a luxury charter boat has pleaded guilty to negligence, after admitting to having drunken sex with her captain as the unmanned yacht ran aground.”

    • nev 04/12/2019, 10:25 am

      The magistrate said Ms Handley’s behaviour on the night had been out of character… I wonder how he knew that?
      And, defence barrister said in the 18 months since the incident, Ms Handley had been promoted at Crystal Blue and given more responsibilities.
      He said the prospect of a recorded conviction was “horrifying” since Ms Handley, who grew up on a houseboat, was hoping to join Border Force and work on patrol boats.

      Well I would bet for one party, this is a lesson not to be ignored; you get intoxicated on your employers time, collude with another employee and commit crimes. Cause thousands of dollars damage to others property not to mention lives at risk all for an uncontrolled drunken sexual romp.
      And the consequences are… Your employer gives you a promotion and increased your responsibilities, the magistrate exonerates your behaviour because he somehow knew your behaviour would have been out of character.
      And it is perfectly logical to be horrified at the prospect of a recorded conviction if you grew up on a house boat.
      So I guess having learned how easy it is to exploit certain weaknesses one would be entitled to speculate that growing up on a house boat and complicity in being a scourge to shipping on the high seas would be a natural step toward becoming a member of Boarder Force and working on a patrol boat.
      Oh what the hell Ms Handly! Before you know it you could be running the RAN if you have been paying attention so far.
      We are also entitled to wonder if your fellow employee has also been similarly rewarded or is that not how it works.
      Then again maybe it’s those Pickering Post winged keel penises that have persuasive influence

  • DT 04/12/2019, 9:14 am

    Sex Appeal.

    Please give generously.

  • Finn 04/12/2019, 9:29 am

    The lawyer just HAD to be named FUN-CH and a QC TO PROSECUTE a case of national importance

    In the 80’s a couple (kujlelc???) were at it in the front room of their house with an open window when Snr. Const. Plod noted this activity and report it and they were charged individually. Furiously and curiously not under the Common Purpose Rules or Joint Criminal Imtention Rules.

    It went up on appeal in the Northern Territory Appeals Court.

    A prize of “well done” is offered for the most appropriate lines to describe the case

Leave a Comment