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What or who will I be today by Larry Pickering

What or who will I be today by Larry Pickering

The last paragraph—”many a true word said in jest.”

It’s now okay to be an Aborigine when you’re clearly not, or even be a bloke when you’re clearly a sheila… so bugger it, I want to be a f**ing fish! Not forever, just for a day or so while summer is still here.

I always thought it would be great to just cruise in and out of our Reef doing nothing but looking at those beautiful corals, just like all those uni student “marine biologists” from James Cook’s “Centre of Excellence” get to do.

Then when I morph back into me I could tell everyone there is actually nothing wrong with our Reef.

And then if people don’t believe I was really a fish I could take them to that Human Rights Commission and win a case for piscatorial discrimination, because if I have an inalienable, legal right to be a female Aborigine, why not a harmless fish?

I mean fish don’t cost taxpayers $30 billion a year, do they?

So, considering I should win that case, I then want to be a girl Aussie Rules player so I can get to reciprocally soap up all the sheilas in the showers after a game (except for that Perkins bird of course) before turning back into a bloke to finish the job.

Then I’ll be Bill Shorten for a day! I would ingest 3,500 Laxettes and stay seated on the toilet until I completely disappeared. Or I could be the Queen and sit naked on Turnbull’s face for a while. That’d be good!

And then I’d convince the Queen to get that Meghan Markle girl to agree to be white, so poor old racist Phil wouldn’t have to put up with little black princes and princesses tearing around the palace.

But most of all I want to be me because, a few days before the big C gets me, I have around six people on a list I intend to shoot dead,  …cos I’m determined, one way or another, to leave this joint better than I found it.

{ 7 comments… add one }
  • Graham Richards 12/02/2018, 7:01 am

    Only six?

  • TommyGun 12/02/2018, 8:24 am

    Well said, Larry.

  • Lorraine 12/02/2018, 9:44 am

    I guess there is a school of fish out there waiting to join Larry Pickering. He sure has a way of perfecting all the problems. we just morph into a fish and demand that they accept our decision.

  • Jim Irvine 12/02/2018, 12:19 pm

    I am not sure whether anyone should take any notice of Pickering at all, considering the scams that he has organised, costing decent people thousands of $$$.
    Now, his grubby grandson, and his G/F are on parole for scamming, unlicensed financial advising and operating a cold call ‘boiler room’.
    Google Jackson Capper and be disgusted. Capper had a good teacher.

    • Lorraine 12/02/2018, 5:03 pm

      really , you have proof…….Pickering has been around a long time and your claims is sure news , or is it some sour grapes

      • Jim Irvine 12/02/2018, 8:28 pm

        Lorainne, Google ‘LARRY PICKERING, KNOWN FRAUDSTER AND THIEF, IS LOOKING AT JAIL TIME WITH SMOKING GUN EVIDENCE’ and watch Tracey Grimshaw with the TV exposure.
        There is no ‘sour grapes’ with me. I feel for the dear souls who trusted Pickering with $15,000,000, which went missing. Please have the sense to do some research. Pickering is a thief.

        You may love the dope, but please keep an open mind on what he did.

  • Clarion Call 12/02/2018, 3:49 pm

    Larry’s highly organised lefty detractors won’t stop until they do a ‘Bill Leake’ on him. All part of the strategy to quash any popular commentary that is counter to the Socialist/Marxist/Communist diktat. More power to a man who calls it as it really is today, unafraid to unmask the subversive elements trying to hollow out our constitution, our religious beliefs and our way of life. Where is the next Larry Pickering ready to take up the cudgel against the treasonous mongrels who have invaded our unique Anglo-Aussie nation-image in an attempt to bring about long-lasting, anti-Christian, anti-family change. Remember the ‘transformation of America’ that the world’s greatest fraud, Barak O’ bozo promised? Look how that’s worked out so far.

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