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Mike Pence and Turnbull’s tuppence

Mike Pence Trumps Turnbull’s tuppence

America brings its own security squad.

NB: passages in “italics” are directly from The Daily Telegraph. Otherwise, MM takes the mickey it rightly deserves!

UNITED States Vice President Mike Pence, his wife Karen and his impressive entourage brought Sydney to a standstill yesterday as America’s ­second-most powerful man began his whirlwind visit to Australia.

MM’s Ed. Chaucer volunteered to cover the story appropriately disguised as a straw broom labeled, “FBI bug sweep.” An intercepted message warned the US Secret Service that Mr Turnbull had been more than lax in the calibre of his recent invitees to Kirribilly House for dinner.

Accompanied by Secret Service agents, US media and political advisers, Mr Pence arrived at Kirribilli House at 9am in an armoured Cadillac.

Chaucer: No doubt Mr Pence was duly miffed being greeted by the Governor-­General Peter Cosgrove without PM Malcolm Turnbull as required who must have been late and thus the unusual protocol. A good start by the Waffler!

Regardless, Big Mal’s TV waffle left the impression that he and President trump were the best of buddies. Mr Pence’s wife playing the perfect diplomat’s wife cuddled the PM’s grand daughter Alice  in a sign of, “strongest and the closest ties between our two nations”.  Are they serious? Those symbolic words shall be embossed in gold on parliamentary dinner plates. Mrs Pence is now Aunty Karen?

In the press room decorations were spartan. A microphone on the lectern in centre front. On the left an old foreign bird on a T-perch and on the right a peculiar sofa upholstered in the style of a mens suit.

Watched by Foreign Minister Julie Bishop and Australia’s US ambassador Joe Hockey, Mr Pence told reporters at Kirribilli House that “all options are on the table” to deal with North Korea.

Chaucer: A closer inspection determined the identity of the old bird on the T-perch and that of the ambassador sofa in a suit. With the press conference concluded the US vice president sought privacy in the anti-room still housing former PM John Howard’s gun collection. The Secret Service had set up a secure phone to the White House.

Pence: Hi Donald, I’m down under with prime minister Trumble, sorry, I mean Turnbull.

Donald: I heard he wasn’t there when you arrived.

Pence: Yeah, they say he’s a late starter, he lays awake all night thinking up new ideas to fool the people and the press. The Aussies say he has brain-farts, not sure what they are but he has an official diary for them. He reckons he’ll sell millions of them when he gets booted out.

Donald: Mike, is he still harping about us “honouring” his refugee deal with Obama? Dangerous words Mike, if we dump the deal is America “dishonourable”? Watch him Mike, even the Aussies think he’s a goose!

Pence: Yep! All he talks about is “honouring” the deal with Obama and you. I told him we didn’t like it and he started to cry—sure surprised me.

Donald: Tell him our word is good.  But don’t tell him we’ll select the best skilled and then send all the reffos we’ve got living on our tab in South America. Tell him they make excellent workers, pick fruit, wash dishes, clean lavatories, anything!

A handful of curious onlookers and one protester gathered outside Kirribilli House as Mr Pence headed to Sydney’s Australian Museum for a guided tour with Ms Bishop. 

Chaucer: Ms Bishop surprised the US couple and staff when she arrived at the Museum dressed as a praying mantis playing a didgeridoo.

The Pence family will visit Taronga Zoo and tour Sydney Harbour with Premier Gladys Berejiklian before returning to the US next week.

Now the story as it appeared in The Daily Teleraph.

The Last Supper—two Judas’ on the left

US Vice President Mike Pence visits Sydney, meets PM to talk trade, North Korea and refugees

It was the earliest visit of any vice president and the tough-talking 57-year-old took the opportunity to slam the US-Australia refugee deal and ­declare that the US had run out of patience with North Korea.

Accompanied by Secret Service agents, US media and political advisers, Mr Pence arrived at Kirribilli House at 9am in an armoured Cadillac.

He was greeted by Governor-­General Peter Cosgrove before spending private time with Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull and his family.

Mr Turnbull said Mrs Pence even cuddled his new granddaughter Alice in a sign of the “strongest and the closest ties between our two nations”.

Watched by Foreign Minister Julie Bishop and Australia’s US ambassador Joe Hockey, Mr Pence told reporters at Kirribilli House that “all options are on the table” to deal with North Korea.

“The era of strategic patience is over,” Mr Pence said.

The two leaders said China needed to exert economic and diplomatic pressure on North Korea to force the rogue state to abandon its nuclear weapons program.

“We have great confidence that China, with the encouragement of the United States, of our allies, and we are grateful to say with the strong encouragement of the leadership here in Australia, will take advantage of the unique position and relationship it has with North Korea to bring an end to their nuclear program and to their ­ballistic missile programs,” Mr Pence said.

The Vice President said the US would honour the agreement struck with the former Obama administration to take refugees from Manus Island and Nauru. “Let me make it clear, the United States intends to honour the agreement, subject to the results of the vetting processes,” Mr Pence said.

“It doesn’t mean that we admire the agreement.”

A handful of curious onlookers and one protester gathered outside Kirribilli House as Mr Pence headed to Sydney’s Australian Museum for a guided tour with Ms Bishop.

The museum’s executive director Kim McKay escorted the powerful pair through two displays — and Mr Pence took particular interest in some of Australia’s deadliest reptiles.

He also met federal Opposition Leader Bill Shorten and some Labor frontbenchers at Sydney’s InterContinental Hotel yesterday.

Sources said they discussed the Trans-Pacific Partnership, Syria, the proposed refugee deal and the US-Australia alliance.

Mr Shorten told Mr Pence that Australia’s relationship with the United States was “ our strongest, deepest and broadest”.

The Pence family will visit Taronga Zoo and tour Sydney Harbour with Premier Gladys Berejiklian before returning to the US next week.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Jarrah 24/04/2017, 7:16 am

    Standing next to Pence, Turnbull looks weak and wishy washy and out of his depth. He is like a ghost that is frightened of himself, in short, a dickhead.

  • Albert 24/04/2017, 10:15 am

    Cheezus, Trump and Pence must be laughing fit to bust at that waffling drongo and that skinny bag of bones who looks like a skeleton with a french letter pulled over it.

    • Joe Blogs 24/04/2017, 11:47 am

      Oui, je suis d’accord avec vous.

      • Albert 24/04/2017, 5:14 pm

        Ils ne volient pas que n’importe qui avec un cerveau peut voir bein par cette merde

    • Neville 25/04/2017, 1:11 am

      Hey wait a minute JB and Albert .. all those words you used there have ENGLISH letters, not french one! /s

  • Joe Blogs 24/04/2017, 2:13 pm

    Melvin Trumble – Man Of The People – was wearing an Akubra on the weekend, doffing it for photo set-ups. A couple of times it seemed to rise slightly and fall back down of its own accord. Self-love brain farts suspected.

    The boy’s desperate.

    • Albert 24/04/2017, 5:15 pm

      JB, that quote should have been in reply to this comment.

      • Joe Blogs 24/04/2017, 6:32 pm

        SFB, Albert? That’s 3 English letters for 1 French one.